


Florescence

by kpop7729



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Freeform, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Nonbinary My Unit | Byleth, Spoilers for Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Suicidal Thoughts, Violent Thoughts, talks of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:20:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26592802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kpop7729/pseuds/kpop7729
Summary: Yellow Carnations1. Rejection and Disappointment2. DisdainDimitri's been coughing up these flower petals for two years, with no hope of the object of his affection returning his feelings. He was in love with Felix after all, and he despised Dimitri. If Dimitri had to die by this disease, then so be it.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 2
Kudos: 43





	1. Yellow Carnations Part 1

_Yellow Carnations_

  1. _Rejection and Disappointment_
  2. _Disdain_



* * *

Dimitri bolted upright in bed, before breaking into a violent coughing fit. Flower petals fell from his throat and onto his sheets. 

Yellow carnations. 

Its petals were a sight Dimitri was all too familiar with, disgustingly coated in his saliva. He used to enjoy the smell of flowers, but having to go anywhere near the greenhouse as of late made him sick. There were flowers there other than carnations, but the fact that they too could end up in his lungs was enough to make him repulsed by them. 

After coughing fits like these, it was always best to distract himself so his mind couldn't wander. Traning was the best way to achieve that. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, he should be working toward his goal. Revenge. He did have a limited time frame after all, the flowers growing in his lungs would eventually claim his life. 

He heaved himself off of his bed and quickly got dressed. He then started heading toward the training grounds, thankfully not running into anyone outside. It was rather late.

When he arrived at the training grounds however, he saw someone he should've expected to be there, but didn't. The universe didn't seem to want him to have relief, if only for a little while. Not that he deserved it. 

"Felix, shouldn't you be sleeping at this time of night?" Felix did tend to have late-night training sessions from time to time. Dimitri didn't think it was good for him, but he was hardly one to talk.

"I could say the same to you boar. Though I suppose beasts don't need sleep."

"I did manage to rest for a few hours. You should do the same as well." 

"I can still train for a couple more hours, I'm not worn out yet. If you're not busy why don't you make yourself useful and spar with me."

"I'm not sure if that's a good idea right now." Dimitri hesitantly said. Usually, he'd be egar to agree to spar with Felix. With Felix's hatred of him, he had to take all the interactions he could get, even if it was only a silent sparring match from time to time. But right now, he didn't know if he could handle it.

"You think I can't handle your beastly strength? Do your worst." 

Tomorrow, Felix most likely wouldn't say two words to Dimitri. It was rare for the two to talk. Dimitri should take what he could get, no matter how painful it was. The feeling of petals in his throat was fresh in his mind, but he tried not to dwell on that. 

"Alright, then. I'll give it my all." Well, not his _all_. He didn't want to hurt Felix after all.

Felix smirked. "Finally, a real challenge." 

They grabbed some training weapons from the racks, Felix a sword and Dimitri a lance, and got ready. 

It went well at first. Felix had excellent swordsmanship, and his speed was incredible, which made for good dodging. Dimitri considered him to be a worthy opponent. While Dimitri outclassed him in brute strength, Felix had other skills that made him hard to beat. 

Then suddenly he felt a tingle in his throat. That wasn't good. If he coughed up petals, in front of Felix of all people, he wouldn't know what to do. What to say. Who should he say is the cause? Well, Dimitri himself is the cause, for allowing himself to fall for someone. His purpose was revenge, to avenge the dead. He didn't have time for feelings like that, and he certainly wasn't worthy of any returned affection of that degree. 

Unfortunately, he couldn't help himself. Just when he was about to block a blow from Felix, he doubled over and coughed up bright yellow petals, dropping his training lance. For a moment he felt like he was choking. If he died, it would be fitting for it to be in front of Felix. The other seeing him in such a pitiful state, probably making him hate Dimtri all the more. 

"What are you-Are you _sick_?" Felix asked in disbelief. 

Dimitri straightened up, wiping some loose petals off of his face. "I-yes. Do not worry, I'll be alright."

"When did you get sick? Isn't this disease extremely rare?" Felix asked. 

"Yes, it is quite rare. It started...two years ago." 

"That day?" Felix asked, already knowing the answer. 

"Yes, that day..."

Neither said anything for a while, until Felix asked, 

"Is it Dedue?" 

Dimitri didn't know how to respond to that. Should he say yes so Felix doesn't catch on and feel guilty for something can't control? Or should he deny it? 

Felix seemed to take his silence as confirmation, saying, "Don't be an idiot. If it's him, you should just tell him how you feel. It's better than needlessly dying to flowers of all things. It'd be an irritating sight." 

Dimitri sighed. "I suppose you're right, it'd be better to say how I feel. However, I'm certain my feelings are unreciprocated." 

"Are you kidding? That lapdog would lick the bottom of your shoe if you asked him to."

"I never said it was Dedue." 

"Well, then who is it?" 

"Do not worry about it. I wouldn't want to burden someone with feelings that'd be impossible for them to return."

"And how do you know it's impossible? Did you tell them how you felt at least? Is it the professor?"

"I think it'd be best if you stop guessing." 

"They may seem like they don't have emotion, but they do spend a lot of time with you, needlessly inviting you to meals and tea. How do you know they don't return your feelings?" 

"It's not the professor. Are you going to make a case for every person you think up?" It was a bit amusing, Dimitri didn't know Felix cared so much. Or perhaps he just didn't want to see someone he used to consider a friend pass. He didn't want to leave Felix yet, either. 

"Well, it's not like your unsightly, at least to other people that don't know your true nature. You should at least tell them. Imagine if they found out and you had passed. Isn't it selfish not to give them a chance to answer? Are you that much of a coward?" 

Although there were some insults, Dimitri could've sworn there was a compliment in there as well. Did Felix just say he was attractive? Or decent looking, perhaps. At least not downright displeasing to look at. 

"I'll make sure they don't find out, then. It's best if they don't feel guilty after I pass." 

"You stupid boar. Are you listing to anything I'm saying? You can't go deciding how someone else feels. If it were you, would you want to know?" 

"Well, yes. If I did not return their affections I would want to shoulder their pain, knowing I am the reason they passed." 

"If that's the case, did you not consider whoever it is that caused this would feel the same? Can you not go rob someone of their chance to at least think about their feelings?"

"What about you?" Dimitri dared to ask. Maybe it was a mistake, but he had to know.

"What?" 

"If it was you, would you want to know?" 

"You haven't been listing to a damned thing, have you? Of course I'd want to know."

He would? Then should Dimitri tell him? Even though he knew the other doesn't love him? Felix would carry with this for the rest of his life after all, along with his brother's passing. And if Dimitri couldn't get revenge before he passed, he'd have to deal with that, too. Knowing Dimitri failed to atone for his sins and passed early because of Felix. No, not because of Felix, rather because of Dimitri's foolishness. It wasn't his fault. A beast, as Felix described him, didn't have business with emotions such as love. 

Still, Felix did tell him he'd want to know. Maybe it'd be selfish of him to not respect his wishes. 

"Felix, since you mentioned that..." 

"What? Spit it out." 

"Would you be able to handle the consequences of knowing?" 

"How long are we going to go over the same thing? You're giving me a headache. Yes, I'd be able to handle it. I've dealt with worse." 

Felix was clearly getting more and more annoyed, but Dimitri kept going. At least he hadn't left the conversation thus far. 

"And if you're close with them?" Not that they were close anymore. 

"Then I'll do my best to make their days as painless as possible, but after I'll have to continue moving." 

"Then, you'll be able to forget me?" Dimitri asked hopefully.

"What are you talking about?" Felix asked, both annoyance and confusion clear on his face. 

"I'm saying, will you be able to forget me and move on? I'm truly sorry for making you carry this burden, I tried to repress it for years. I didn't think there was a chance you'd feel that way, even when we were close. But after that day, I snapped. Flower petals started blooming in my chest." He'd also lost his sense of taste that day. Maybe it was a blessing, not having to taste the petals. Or a curse. They were born out of his love for Felix, and as sick as it sounded Dimitri couldn't help but wonder what they tasted like. 

"What are you prattling on about? You can't possibly be saying..." Felix's question broke his train of thought.

Dimtiri didn't want to tell him, but he deserved to know. It's what he wished, so Dimitri would respect it. Gathering his courage, he told him. "It's you, Felix." 


	2. Yellow Carnations Part 2

"It's you, Felix." Felix dropped the training sword he'd still been holding in shock. He couldn't believe the words he was hearing. He didn't know how to process emotions, only knew how to throw out harsh words in defense. 

"But...but you're a beast! You said so yourself! You told me the Dimitri I knew died!" Dimitri was dead. His first love was dead. There was no way the person standing in front of him was Dmitri. It was just a beast wearing his face. 

"I never said that, but I suppose I did agree with you. I still cannot deny it. Despite that, my feelings remain." 

"The one I loved was Dimitri, not the beast," He admitted, too quiet for his liking. This wasn't right. Dimitri, he missed Dimitri. He'd had to mourn him along with his brother back then. The person in front of him wasn't Dimitri. Just a boar in disguise, even if no one else but Felix could see it. 

"You are...rather, you were in love with me?" Dammit. Felix shouldn't have told him that. He didn't like being vulnerable in front of the boar. 

"Yes, I was...in the past." Felix reluctantly admitted. _You still are_ , part of his mind whispered. He ignored it. What did that make him, to be in love with someone who relished bathing in other's blood? No better than a beast himself. Felix would not be what he hated. He couldn't be like that, love someone who found joy in taking other's life. Would the beast lose control and turn on him one day? Felix couldn't live a life worrying he'd have to put his lover down.

After a while, the boar said, "I see...I suppose that does give me some comfort. Unfortunately-" He stopped abruptly to kneel on the ground, vomiting those stupid yellow flowers again. 

This was it, wasn't it? If Felix didn't do something, the boar would die. Dimitri would die. Dimitri. Was this still Dimitri? Was it time to break the illusions he'd carefully crafted to protect himself? The fact that Dimitri and the boar were the same, and Felix loved them both?

"Felix, I'm sorry-" Dimitri said suddenly, sounding strained. Felix cut him off.

"What the hell, are you trying to die on me right now, boar?! I said you should give the person time to consider their feelings. You can't go dying on me when I'm trying to think!" 

Dimitri took a moment to stand up again, looking a bit unsteady. Felix resisted the urge to help him balance himself. He'd only help if he truly needed it.

"You said you loved me in the past. I am glad to know that you loved me at some point. Seeing how you currently feel about me, there's no possible way you could ever-"

"Can you stop prattling on and on! And stop putting words in people's mouths, you stupid boar!" Felix yelled, cutting him off again. 

"Felix-" Dimitri started but didn't get a chance to finish. Felix pulled him down by his collar and kissed him. It was rough and not what Felix imagined a first kiss to be like, but he supposed that was his fault. Still, he wouldn't do it differently. 

"Are you done now? Are the flowers gone?" Felix asked him, after pulling back only because he needed some air. Felix's face burning red. He'd just had his first kiss, and he'd shared it with the boar. Dimitri. He used to imagine kissing Dimitri when they were kids, he never figured that it would actually happen. 

Dimitri shook his head, coughing up a stray petal. "I-ah, I appreciate it, but it's not going to work like that. You do not love me, not in the present." 

"Just how dense are you? Do you really have to make me say it? Of course I love you! I always have, I just didn't want to admit it. And you had to go get some disease, so now I have to tell you!" 

"It...it won't work if you lie, Felix." 

"I'm not lying. Try hacking up some flowers, I dare you." Felix threatened. 

Dimitri coughed lightly to test. Felix didn't think he would actually do it, the boar was ridiculous. He then coughed harder, trying to force imaginary petals out of his system. 

"There's nothing, right?" Felix asked, not needing confirmation. 

"You do...you really do love me?" Dimitri asked, the shock clear on his face.

"I do." Felix said confidently. At least one of them had to be confident. 

"You said I forced you to admit your feelings. I do not want you to enter a relationship against your will. I understand if you still have some level of hatred for me." 

A relationship? Felix assumed that would be their next step, but he supposed they didn't have to. At least not right away. Still, the thought of Dimitri dating anyone else made him sick. Felix had no interest in dating anyone else either. If he was going to be in a relationship, it would be with Dimitri. 

"It's not that I ever hated you, I hated what you did. I just-I need some time to come to terms with that. Don't go dating anyone else on me, alright?" 

"Felix, I would never," Dimitri said, sounding truly appalled by the idea. Did he really like Felix that much? Felix didn't want to describe it as love. It was still hard for him to wrap his head around the idea the boar might be in love with him. 

"Good. Then wait for me." Felix said, bushing a bit at saying something so cheesy.

"I will. Take all the time you need Felix. I will be here waiting for you. Always." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if I'll end it here or go into post time skip stuff.


	3. Forget-Me-Not Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Suicidal thoughts and talks of suicide. (No actual suicide)

_Forget-me-not_

_1\. Remembrance_

_2\. Undying Love_

_3\. The growing affection between two people_

* * *

Nothing could've prepared him for seeing Dimitri again, after all these years. It'd been five years since the empire declared war. Five years since he'd seen Dimitri. Dimitri was supposed to be _dead_ for Goddess's sake. Part of him knew that wasn't true. Sylvain and Ingrid had thought the same. There was no way the boar hadn't survived. He was stronger than anyone. 

Still, there was no sign of him for five years. Felix had expected the beast to be back, but didn't quite expect the scale of which he was. Before, when they were still studying at Graareg Mach, Felix had asked for time. Time he didn't know they didn't have. If he could go back, he'd have entered a relationship with Dimitri. Maybe it'd help prevent some of his beastliness from coming back. 

Felix hadn't gotten together with him back then, growing even more distant with him when the boar showed his true colors at the holy tomb. Felix did tend to watch him from afar. He wanted to make sure the boar didn't get himself killed with his animalistic fighting. His skills were too sloppy like this, though he had the strength to make up for it. Part of him was also afraid he'd see Dimitri coughing up those horrible petals. Then he'd have no choice but to go reassure Dimitri that he still felt the same way. 

Now, Felix was returning to the same monastery where he fist confessed to Dimitri. Some stupid reunion Ingrid and Sylvain convinced him to go to. He had protested going, but really he would've gone whether the two had tagged along or not. He hoped Dimitri would show, being the one to suggest the reunion, boar or not.

Felix still had some issues to work out, but his self-reflection had been cut short by the war and Dimitri's supposed death. He decided if Dimitri was alive, he wouldn't waste time anymore. After the war, he could do all the self-reflecting he wanted. The time to be with Dimitri was now, whether Felix thought him a beast or not. If Dimitri was alive, he would do his best to treat him better.

So when he found out the boar was alive, he was ecstatic, whether he showed it or not. When he found out that this was a different Dimitri then he was used to, however, he was disheartened. Would Dimitri be alright after the war, after he attained his supposed goal of having the emperor's head? Edelgard, she caused him to completely snap like this. Felix hated her with all his might.

Still, there was more going on here. He often heard Dimitri talking to himself, haunting the cathedral at all hours. Did the boar even sleep? He had to have at some point, whether he meant to or not. And when did he eat? Felix would have to make sure he didn't stupidly kill himself before they could even set foot in empire territory. 

Felix usually watched Dimitri silently from afar. Call him a coward, he sure felt he was. He wasn't sure what to say, how to help Dimitri other than watching over him. He didn't think his usual tactics were going to work, but he wasn't going to stand by and watch him self destruct either. He also wasn't going to coddle him, that just wasn't in his nature. 

He'd have to say something sooner or later, whether he was afraid of the outcome or not. He knew better now than to let fear control him. 

"Boar," Shit, he wasn't supposed to say that. Whether Dimitri called himself a monster or not, he didn't have to feed into it. 

"Go away," Dimitri simply said, not turning away from the rubble he was staring at in the cathedral. 

"Dimitri," Felix tried again, his tone as gentle as it was getting. It was Felix after all. 

"Your prince has died. Only his corpse remains."

"Don't you think it'll be easier to win the war if you actually rested for once? Instead of wasting time looking at rubble?" 

"I'd rather prepare to remove her head from her shoulders, slaughtering some other lowly beast in her place to practice. But staying here and having you all as extra forces will also help me obtain her head quicker." 

The boar had completely taken over. Where was Dimitri, the one he knew seven years ago, even five years ago? No, this boar was still Dimitri. He just had to guide him back to sanity somehow. Should be easy enough. At least that's what he desperately wanted to believe. 

"And how are you going to do that if you're too exhausted?" 

"Beast don't need sleep. You said so yourself." 

Maybe Felix deserved that one but it didn't mean it didn't hurt. 

"I thought you said you'd wait for me, boar?" He really needed to kick that habit. "I'm here now, Dimitri." 

"The one who promised you that died as well. A corpse can't feel emotions such as love." 

Was he serious? Did Dimitri really not care about him or anyone else anymore, other than his precious revenge? He didn't have time to be shocked by this, he had to figure out what to say to snap the boar out of it. 

"Just how many times are you planning on dying?" Felix asked.

"As many as it takes to avenge the dead. Eventually, I too shall finally join them." 

"What the hell are you saying? Don't tell me you're planning on dying after all this?" 

"I'm not planning on doing anything, other than getting her head." 

That wasn't really a concrete answer. 

"Did you eat anything today?" Felix asked, deciding to change the subject.

"Beasts do not need food." 

"You're not actually some boar, boar. You're human just like the rest of us. And humans need to eat and rest." 

"Do not pretend to not know what I am!" Dimitri roared. "You were the first to realize, and now you try denying it? You just don't want to accept the fact that you used to love a monster." Used to?

"I still love you." Felix quickly corrected. Dimitri hadn't been coughing up petals all this time, had he? 

"You'd best discard that feeling quickly if you don't want to end up like I was back then." Back then? So did that mean he hadn't been coughing up petals all this time? And if that was the case, did that mean that he didn't feel anything for Felix anymore?

"You weren't coughing them up again, were you?" 

"No, I told you the old monster that loved you is dead. Replaced by one capable of doing anything to avenge the dead." 

Dimitri really didn't feel anything for him anymore? Was he that far gone that he didn't feel anything but rage now? No, he heard him muttering to himself before. The tone was too distraught for it to purely be one of rage. Then were all of his positive emotions the ones that were missing? Would they come back? 

Dimitri wasn't really a beast, of course his emotions would to come back, Felix told himself. He just had to be patient, which admittedly wasn't his best skill. He'd have to wait as Dimitri waited for him. He'd still watch over him, and try his best to help him regain sanity. But he'd wait.

However, Felix's body had other plans for him. The next morning Felix coughed up petals of forget-me-nots. 


	4. Forget-Me-Not Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Possible suicidal talk and actions depending on interpretation. (No actual suicide)

Felix had watched over Dimitri as much as he could, but eventually, he ended up having to stop shadowing him at the cathedral. He didn't want Dimitri to see the forget-me-nots that were coming out of his mouth. He'd caused Dimitri enough pain.

The boar, Dimitri, didn't love him right now. Dimitri didn't love him right now, but that could change. Would change. Felix didn't want to become another supposed ghost to haunt him. He couldn't die now, he had to keep fighting. He would. He wouldn't let this disease be the end of him. He could survive some stupid flowers.

It eventually became apparent that even that plan wouldn't work out. His training sessions usually had to be cut short by him running and hiding to cough up petals. He'd even run out on the professor during a meal once. Thankfully they didn't question him about it later. 

He'd have to figure something out. Would magic work somehow? Felix wasn't very good at faith magic or magic in general. He'd have to go to someone else, unfortunately. He could think of only one person. He just hoped she wouldn't tell Dimitri. She wouldn't be able to even if she wanted, he wasn't planning on telling her who was the cause of the disease anyway. 

Thankfully they were both tasked to clean up some of the rubble cluttering the monetary. She was surprisingly strong for someone who primarily used magic in battle. 

"Mercedes, do you happen to know anything about Hanahaki?" Felix asked her. 

"Hmm, well I don't know much more than any else on the subject. I know it's from one-sided love, and that it causes you to cough up flower petals. It's fatal if not treated properly." 

"And how do you treat it?" 

"I'm afraid the only way to cure it is for the person they love to return their feelings. Is there a reason you're asking this Felix?" 

"No, I was just curious."

"Oh my, you don't have the disease, do you?"

"I said I was just curious," Felix repeated in annoyance. 

"Well, if you happened to start coughing up petals, I know that the person would definitely like you back." 

"Why do you say that?" 

"I happen to know there's someone who's been in love with you for as long as I can remember." She wasn't talking about herself, was she? Felix wouldn't want her to get the disease somehow. Even though it was a rare disease, Dimitri and Felix both had it already. It wouldn't be much of a stretch for it to spread to Mercedes. 

"What are you talking about?" 

"It wouldn't be fair of me to say anything if he didn't yet." Was she talking about Dimitri? 

"...He doesn't love me anymore. If you're talking about who I think." 

"Oh Felix, he's just going through a hard time right now. It doesn't mean he doesn't care for us, just that he can't take care of us right now. He can barely take care of himself, after all! You just have to be patient. I'm sure he'll admit his feelings for you soon."

"I know that, but the flowers don't seem to understand." He decided to admit. There was nothing they could do about it anyway, even if she told Dimitri. Which he would make her promise not to do.

"Then there's only one thing left you can do. You have to tell him about your situation." He couldn't believe she was suggesting that. He had secretly held onto the hope that she would come up with a solution to his problems, but that didn't seem like it would be the case. 

"I can't do that, all it'll do is make him feel bad." 

"That's possible. Or maybe it'll be the push he needs to admit that he still has feelings for you. It's worth trying anyway." Felix knew she was right.

But Felix was a coward. 

He didn't want to hurt Dimitri again. If he died, Dimitri at least wouldn't know it was to Hanahaki. He wouldn't tell him. And would make sure to keep his distance from him as much as possible. 

Unfourtantly that was hard to do the battlefield. Not that he tried to, he couldn't live with himself if he let something happen to Dimitri. He didn't trust the boar-Dimitri with his...inhuman fighting style. Was that a better way to phrase it? Dimitri was careless like that, he could get hurt. 

But fighting close by him increased the possibility that Dimitri would notice his condition. It was an unpredictable one. Really, Felix should be benched. He wouldn't allow that to happen though. Not while he could still fight. 

They were fighting simple thieves this time, who had come too close to the monastery for Dimitri's liking. Once Dimitri caught wind of their wrongdoings he couldn't allow those beasts to live, as he put it. 

So they set out to get rid of them, per Dimitri's orders. The professor had allowed it, saying they needed to get some more hands-on training that month. It should've been easy. Except for the fact that Felix bent over and started coughing up forget-me-not petals in the middle of battle. Right when a swordsman was coming at him. Was this really how he was going to die? How pathetic. 

However, his death didn't come. Felix couldn't look up from the ground to check what had happened, the petals were still coming up. Was he vomiting a whole damn bouquet? But once Felix heard an inhuman battle cry next to him, he knew who had come to his aid. 

"Don't you dare try to put your hands on him, you beast! I'll tare you apart, limb from limb. Once I'm done, you'll be begging for death to come."

Felix had to get a hold of himself. He straightened up, possibly stopping the flowers from coming up threw sheer willpower, though probably not. He had to keep fighting. 

And he did, but when he vomited flowers on an enemy Dimitri pushed him out of the way. He quickly finished the enemies off himself instead of taking his time relishing in their suffering. 

"Are you alright?" Dimitri asked, staring at the dead, not bothering to look at the living. 

"Look at me and check for yourself," Felix said. It wouldn't do him any good to stare at corpses. 

Dimitri slowly turned around to face Felix. "I see you're unharmed. That's good. That should be the last of them." Dimitri said, looking to the professor for confirmation. The others had joined them by now. 

The professor nodded. "We should head back now. Felix, take a minute to rest before you head back." They told him. 

"Are you kidding? He threw up flowers in the middle of battle! We have to stay and make sure he's ok." Sylvain insisted. 

"I have a feeling he's going to be just fine Sylvain." Mercedes said, smiling a knowing smile. "Dimitri will stay with him. Won't you Dimitri?" 

"I'm sure Felix would much prefer the company of the living." Dimitri said. 

"Don't be stupid. Even if you leave I'm just going to follow you." Felix protested. 

"I suppose it is my duty to atone for my sins," Dimitri said. That wasn't what Felix wanted. He didn't know what he wanted. He just wanted to be with Dimitri at that moment, not for him to feel like it was his fault. Dimitri couldn't control his feelings or lack thereof. 

Meanwhile, Sylvain's mouth hung open. "Wait, Felix has Hanahaki because of His Highness?"

Ingrid sighed. "For someone who's so obsessed with women, you don't seem to have a clue when it comes to actual relationships." 

"You knew too?!" 

"I thought everyone knew His Highness had a crush on Felix? Though I didn't know Felix felt the same way about him!" Annette exclaimed. 

"So it really is just me, huh," Sylvain said, sighing. 

"We should return to the monastery, Professor," Ashe said, suddenly turning to them. He seemed too happy for some reason. "If this is anything like the knight's tales I've read, this is the scene were His Highness and Felix will finally reconcile!" 

"What the hell? We aren't some stupid romance novel." Felix said.

"He's right, I am nothing like the people in those knight's tales. Merely a monster, stained with the blood of many." 

"Will you shut up about beast for once?" Perhaps Felix also needed to work on his temper. He'd figure it out later.

"We're going to head back now." The professor stated. Finally, they cut off the blue lions' useless blabbering. 

The rest of them started walking off, while Dimitri and Felix remained behind. "Have fun! Remember to be safe!" Sylvain shouted as they left. Felix would strangle him when he got back. 

"Felix," Dimitri said once the others were out of sight. He didn't expect Dimitri to be the first one to break the silence. Felix thought they'd be standing there in silence until they decided to head back. 

"Dimitri," 

"I am not a good man. Barely even a man as it is, closer to a beast." Felix glared at him but didn't cut him off. "However, even though the dead have no business loving the living, I still continue to do so. All I ask is that you wait. I cannot be of use to anyone, not until I have her head."

"You don't have to kill her to be useful. Just being here is useful enough. Your friends need you. I need you. So stop doing reckless things." Felix told him. Despite the serious situation, his face was still a bit red. He really hated saying cheesy things. Maybe it'd be better if Dimitri could read minds. 

"And the dead need to be avenged. They deserve rest, and the only way to give them that is to bring them her head." 

"And what about the living? The dead are gone, Dimitri." 

"Leave the dead to appease the dead, Felix." 

"You're not dead. If you were we wouldn't be taking right now." 

"It seems I cannot convince you otherwise. However, I will not be swayed either. I will have her head no matter what." 

Felix decided to drop it for now and change tactics."It's not like you have to do all this by yourself. Pushing people away gets you nowhere. I should know. If you want to win this war, you have to learn to rely on others." 

"It is..quite odd to hear you say such a thing."

"Trust me, I know." 

"Perhaps you're right." 

Thank Goddess.

"However, I cannot allow myself to rest until her head is torn from her shoulders. Any comfort is meaningless until I've achieved that. I will figure out how to atone for my sin of loving you after the war." 

"I'm not asking for you to atone for anything! I just want you to rest." 

"I cannot do that. If it'll help ease your mind, I will try to get some more sleep than usual tonight."

"Just tonight?"

"...From now on, but I can't make any promises. The dead have their words to say, and I am the only one to hear them." 

Felix sighed. "Well, I'm here if you need help with anything. I'll shove food down your throat and bathe you myself if I have to." 

"If that will bring you some comfort, I'll allow it." 

"All I want is for you to be taken care of, you idiot." 

"It is foolish to waste your efforts on a monster." 

Felix sighed again. "You're not a monster, but I'm not going to argue with you all day. Let's head back so I can force some food in your stomach." 

"As you wish." 

Things were far from perfect after that. Dimitri was still self-loathing as always. He was still reckless in battle despite Felix's insistence that he shouldn't be. He still craved blood. 

But he allowed Felix to somewhat take care of him, even if he kept questioning why Felix would want to help a beast like him. Felix assured him that he cared about him, even if Dimitri couldn't voice those same feelings right now. 

They weren't exactly in a relationship, but they weren't apart from each other and that was more than enough for Felix. Perfect could wait. 

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing fire emblem, sorry if I messed up any lore or things like that!


End file.
